Fifth Week of Lent
Ephesians 5:21-6:9
Monday
Read Ephesians 5:21-6:9 and focus on 5:21. “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This is Paul’s thesis, his topic sentence for how we as Christians build and maintain healthy relationships. While it is easy to read this passage and get into discussions about what this means specifically for husbands and wives, or parents and children, we must first stop and reflect on this challenge: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
To submit is to sacrifice. In the first century Ephesus, Paul’s words in this passage can be read-only as a call to radical, self-sacrificial, self-giving, self-emptying love. Paul even goes so far as to tell husbands (who were in a position of authority and power) in 5:25 that their love for their wives should be the same as Jesus’ love for the church, giving himself up for the church. This kind of love is seen only through self-sacrifice. The kind of love that should shape every Christian relationship is a self-sacrificial, cross-shaped love. This kind of love was a radical concept in first-century Ephesus, and it is radical today.
Take some time today to think about the various relationships you have in your life. Do you think of loving each other in this radical, self-sacrificial way? Why or why not? What relationships in your life need to have a more cross-shaped, self-sacrificial love? Ask the Lord to develop a cross-shaped, self-sacrificial love in your heart this week for the people in your life. And ask the Lord to show you what this kind of love looks like practically in each of your relationships.
Tuesday
Read Ephesians 5:21-6:9 and focus again on 5:21. We have seen that the key to building and maintaining healthy relationships is a cross-shaped, self-sacrificial love. But there is a huge barrier to having that kind of self-sacrificial love, and it is our own self-centeredness. Whether it is a marriage, friendship, or family relationship, self-centeredness is a torpedo that can blow up any relationship. Couples in marriage counseling often come with a litany of problems and grievances about their spouse, but the root of the problem most often is their own self-centeredness. Tim Keller suggests that when two spouses say, “I’m going to treat my self-centeredness as the main problem in the marriage,” that is when they have the prospect of a truly great marriage. The same applies to all Christian relationships.
Take some time today and ask the Lord to show you areas where your self-centeredness is impacting your relationships. If you are having trouble thinking of examples, be brave and ask your friends, your spouse, or if you are brave, ask your kids. They will certainly be able to tell you where your self-centeredness is keeping you from having a truly cross-shaped, self-sacrificial love. Then ask the Lord to kill that self-centeredness in you and ask the Lord to show you how you can love selflessly in that relationship instead of selfishly. This may be an uncomfortable spiritual exercise, but the result is not only stronger relationships but relationships that point us to Jesus’ self-sacrificial love for us.
Wednesday
Read Ephesians 5:21-6:9 and focus on 5:22-33. Paul first applies this principle of cross-shaped, self-sacrificial love to the institution of marriage. Paul’s exhortations to both wives and husbands in first-century Ephesus were a radical challenge for how spouses love each other in marriage. And these words on self-sacrificial love in marriage are as needed today as they were when Paul wrote them. Sociologists have now coined a new term to refer to marriages today: “The Me-Marriage.” Today, so many people see marriage as an accomplishment, something that enhances my life, the cherry on the already self-established sundae of my life. In other words, marriage today is not about self-sacrificial love for the other, it is about the other making my life better.
If you are married, how can you love your spouse with a cross-shaped love? What are some practical ways you can love your spouse with this radical, self-sacrificial, self-giving, self-emptying love? Ask the Lord today to show you practical steps you can take in this area, and then go do them! Ask your spouse for practical ways you can serve them. And if you are not married, how can you encourage this kind of love in your friendships and the relationships around you? When this kind of cross-shaped love defines us, every relationship in the church will be strengthened, not just marriages. So, pray today that every relationship in our church will be shaped by this radical, cross-shaped love!
Thursday
Read Ephesians 5:21-6:9 and focus on 6:1-4. Paul now applies this principle of cross-shaped, self-sacrificial love to families, specifically the relationship between parents and children. Children are called to obey their parents, and parents are called to bring their children up in the “training and instruction of the Lord.” Obviously, this requires self-sacrificial love all around, for there are times where kids want to do what they want to do, and there are times where parents want to focus on their own self-interests rather than the disciplined task of raising their kids to know and follow Jesus.
Now all of us have different family situations, some good, some difficult, and everywhere in between. Therefore, the application of these verses will be different for all of us. Ask the Lord today to show you practical things you can do to love your family with a cross-shaped, self-sacrificial love. And be willing to put things on the table and let the Lord make changes if necessary, with regards to your family. Is your family too busy to devote the time necessary to know and follow Jesus together? Does your personal time need to change so that you can be more intentional about your family’s spiritual growth? Are there things in your life that need to be given up so that you can invest in what really matters? All these things involve sacrifice, giving up what is easy for the sake of what is important. So, ask the Lord to keep growing this self-sacrificial heart in you, so that our families, as well as our entire church family, can grow closer to Jesus together!
Friday
Read Ephesians 5:21-6:9 and focus on 6:5-9. Paul’s final application of this principle of cross-shaped, self-sacrificial love is the area of slaves and masters. This is a little difficult for us to apply, as we live in a context where there is no institutional slavery. But most of us do work for someone, and some have people working for them. There are power structures to navigate on a regular basis, and we must figure out how to honor the Lord in those various relationships. Therefore, the principle of self-sacrificial love here in these verses can apply to our work relationships. For those in positions of service, Paul’s call is to obey and serve wholeheartedly as if serving the Lord, not just serving for personal gain. And for those in positions of authority, Paul instructs them to care for those under them “in the same way.” So regardless of what side of a work-relationship you are on, the goal is the same: Serve wholeheartedly and selflessly. When we serve others wholeheartedly and selflessly in the workplace, people take notice. Self-sacrificial love and service in a context where people are looking out for number one cause heads to turn.
Take some time today and ask the Lord how you can serve wholeheartedly and selflessly in your workplace, regardless of what position you are in. Ask the Lord to also reveal your heart about work. Do you view work as a necessary evil or as an opportunity to lovingly serve others? Even as you grow in the area of self-sacrificial love in relationships at home and church, ask the Lord to grow that self-sacrificial love in you at work, so that you might have opportunities to tell others about Jesus’ love for them.
Saturday
Read Ephesians 5:21-6:9 one more time and review the devotionals from this week. Share with a friend or family member what the Lord has been teaching you this week and share with them the practical steps you are taking to grow in this area of self-sacrificial love. Ask them to pray for you and hold you accountable for these steps.
Given that self-centeredness is so ingrained in us, both by our nature and by our culture, practicing this selfless, self-sacrificial love will likely take some time, practice and discipline. This is likely a “two steps forward and one step back” scenario for most of us. But don’t be discouraged. Instead, as we get closer to Holy Week, turns your eyes to the cross. Think about what Jesus has done for you. Think of the pain and the mockery he endured to die for you. Think of the excruciating pain he endured when he bore the full weight of the sins of humanity on the cross. Think of the agony he endured when he was cut off from his Heavenly Father. Why did Jesus do this? Because he loves you. And if this is how Jesus has demonstrated his love for us, we can love each other in the same way.